Let’s Talk

How to Hold Crucial Conversations Well



We are in a teaching about how to converse and stay in dialog when opinions vary, the stakes are high, and when emotions run strong. Dialog is the free flow of meaning between two or more people, and the first step to dialog is to “Start with the heart.” In this post you will learn to think, “Me first”.


Me First

 Those who are skilled at dialog don’t focus on the other person, but on “me first”. They take responsibility for dialog. They know the problem with communication isn’t their spouse’s fault, it’s not their teenager’s fault, not their friend’s or their boss’s fault.

Please understand, this does not mean, “It’s all your fault.” Nor does it mean that, “It is mostly your fault.” It just means that if you want to get good at dialog, you must accept the personal responsibility to get better at dialog. You admit that you have more power over others than you have acknowledged and by learning these skills, you can improve your relationships, solve more problems, and help more people.

The authors of Crucial Conversations make the point that the smartest people start with “me first” and they get better at dialog.


Putting it to work for you

 Who do you need to have a conversation with? Before you have that conversation, go back and listen to the message from last Sunday again. Make notes. Challenge yourself to get better.

And whatever you do, don’t miss this week’s talk. We’ll show you the most common cause of failed dialog and you’ve made this mistake many times. See you Sunday!